Last weekend, for a thousand times, I've watched the movie “The Holiday” (I know, it’s basically a Christmas movie, but who cares). The last time I watched this movie was a few years ago when I was around eight- or nineteen years old. At that time, my love life was less complicated so I didn’t really get the powerful message behind this movie.
“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.”
– Iris, The Holiday (2006);
It was at that moment that I recognized a few key moments that happened in my life, where I should've let someone go – THAT became the inspiration for this blog post.
Here are 5 signs that it’s time to let someone go, according to me.
1. No more effort;
If that person doesn’t treat you well, doesn’t make the effort to see you more often or doesn't even check out how you are doing. If it wasn’t for your efforts, you could go days without speaking to each other.
2. It’s all about the other person;
"The person breaks your heart, and somehow it makes you believe it was your own fault, your misunderstanding." That person doesn’t care about you or your feelings, their wishes and necessities comes first.
3. It’s not official, but doesn’t want to let go;
After months of dating you try to figure out what you guys are; you’re completely in love and ready to go further. But, your ‘significant other’ doesn’t want to commit because they 'don’t want to hurt you', but in the same breath they don’t want to lose you.
4. When it causes more pain than joy;
At one point it becomes twisted, toxic and painful. Every single night, you go to bed thinking how you can change the situation. How can you make it all better again. You, sacrificing your own needs to put someone else first, "Because you’re too in love to be mad at them, so you punish yourself instead."
5. When it doesn’t meet your expectations;
You know what you want and expect in someone, you know what you have to offer in a relationship. Don’t sacrifice that for someone who doesn’t meet your expectations. If they don’t put enough effort even to try to meet your expectations, don’t waste your time, boo.
These five key points were based on a romantic relationship, but doesn’t exclude the possibility you can use them to test your friendships or other type of relationships you may have. Often, people take others for granted, but you should never take yourself for granted, gurl!
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blogpost are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Phryme Magazine.